Saturday, December 31, 2011

Day 44. The Sun is Setting

Well,

It looks as though the sun is setting on another life lesson filled year.

Where friendships have been lost, rekindled, made, and expanded.

Where tears have been shead, given, and taken.

Where laughs have been shared, made, and taken.

Where smiles have been charished, shattered, and remembered.

Where love has been spread, torn, and given.

Where songs have been able to speak when we can't.

Where stares can explain our emotions better than we could have said.

Where a simple hello created a long lasting friendship.

Where we jumped for joy.

And shrank in pain and sadness.

Where hearts were given, taken, lost, and loved.

I have learned a lot this past 365 days.

I do not regret the actions I made, or the things I said.

I do not regret the friendships that were torn,
But If they were to return in 2012 I would let them in with open arms.

I am happy for the friendships that have been rekindled.
I am glad for the tears I've shed.
I am ecstatic for the laughs I've shared.
I am greatful for the love I've felt.

I am happy 2011 was a year of learning.

But I am more than ready for 2012 to bring its light into the world,
I am ready for God to bring me new challenges
New opportunties
New friendships
New relationships
New problems
New hopes
New reasons to be alive.

Godspeed <3
On and On Tenth Avenue North

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Day 43. Find Me

We are all called to do great things.

We are all called to be found.

We are all called to be the best person we can be.

I am called to be a care taker.

I know that for sure.

A care taker of what?

That is still up to God.

But I have found something that I am good at.

He helped me find it.

I pray He can help me find more,

A home,
Friends,
A job,
Love...

But that will be up in the air for a while...

But God found me.
And He's no where near being completely done finding all of me yet.

Godspeed <3
Find Me-- Boyce Avenue

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Day 42. I Am Copying Amanda Bedford. Because My Mind Is in Jumbles.

Since I cannot seem to come up with a clear, coherent blog, I have decided to copy a fellow blogger of mine. Well here goes.

Things I have learned recently.
1. I analyze everything. Immediately.
2. I have a love/ hate relationship with being alone.
3. I explain my feelings through music.
4. I love super intense classical music... Go listen to the harry potter soundtrack and you will understand.
5. I care about people.... sometimes too much.
6. I can honestly say I love someone....And they will never understand how much it kills me.
7. I write to God, more than simply pray in my head. I also like to yell in the car to God. That seems to do the job.
8. I love my family. Even when I don't show it.
9. I tend to be obessed with certain things for a long/short period of time then completely drop them.
10. I could have computer pillow talks with Amanda Bedford for hours on end and not be tired. ( I could have real pillow talks with Amanda Bedford and not be tired, and be crying of laughter).
10.5. I think She's the one I could tell anything to and she wouldn't judge me.
11. I trust to easily
12. I let my heart go to certain people too quickly..
13. I love God.
14. I love God so much, but I don't know what He wants for my future.
15. I am going to fight for the youth of the Church.
16. I am being called to work with kids and teach them about Christ.
17. Kids will never learn if you lecture them.
18. I cannot wait to have a family of my own.
19. I cannot wait to go away to college.
20. My life has been filled with crazy, hecktic DRA-MA-tastic, exciting stuff. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
20. I have a new favorite band-- Boyce Avenue. Take a gander....

Godspeed <3
Boyce Avenue-- Find ME

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Day 41. More than Enough.

There is a undefined definition of a "Camp Friend".

It's kind of different than the definition of a "Friend".

For those who have ever been involved in any way to any sort of camp. I think you may understand.

THE UNDEFINED DEFINITION OF A
"CAMP FRIEND":
Someone you can trust.
Someone who you see twice out of the year. But when you get the chance to see them... It feels like you saw them yesterday.
Someone who will be there for you. Even when you don't want them to.
Someone who will fight for you. Till the end.
Someone who will love you unconditionally.
Someone who will love you. Forever.
Someone who will be willing to stand up for you.
Someone who you argue with. But still care for at the end of the day.
Someone who is willing to stay up in the early hours of the morning for you. Even if you're asleep.
Someone who you can run to for help.
Someone who is willing to tell you what you're doing is stupid. But will still love you and support you through the stupid times.
Someone who you can share your beliefs and faith with.
Someone who you can show your heart to. And they won't rip it to shreds.
A "Camp Friend" is someone who is family.
Family is unbreakable.
Having Camp Friends, In my life... It's more than enough.

Godspeed <3

More than Enough-- Ministry of Magic

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Day 40. Blue and Red.

I stumble closer to the zone.

This is no ordinary war.

A circle carved into the ground
Like a crater.

In the middle
Black
White
Entangled

Surrounding the brawl
Blue
Red
Wings
Fire.

A Red saw me staring dumbfounded

It whispered to me.
Wanting me to come closer.
To see this battle from an inside view.
I was mesmerized.
I began to follow the whispers.
Come Closer,
Come see whats happening,
Maybe you could help.
Red's voice was eerily inviting.

As I moved closer to the crater circle
I was pushed back,
The deep shade of blue came over me.
Red's voice still lingering.
Come back, dear.
Come see...

Blue was talking over the Red.
You can't.
You know you can't.
It's not safe.
It didn't struggle to push me back,
It could tell I didn't want to listen.

White became dim,
For the split second the battle paused.
It was only light,
A small faint light.
Cherub, I don't want to see you get hurt.
I love you.
Stay where you are.
The light looked away from me,
to the Blue and simply said,
Stay with her.

Battle of Hogwarts: Official Theme.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Day 39. This is War.

The sounds ring through my ears.
Sirens.
Screams.
Chaos.

The explosions turn from
deep red
orange
and yellow
to black
in the blink of an eye.

I scramble,
Like others,
looking,
praying
to find someone I know
Alive.

I am going the opposite direction of the crowd,
Towards the target zone.
I know what this is.
I've seen it.
Felt it before.

This isn't a simple attack
This was not a simple army.

The ground shook from another explosion.
The smoke clouded the ground and the sky.
No one around me looked up.
Scared for what they might see.

Frozen,
I looked up.
Lightning,
Shooting out of the dark gray clouds.

I am mesmerized
It looks so beautiful.
Focus

I shake myself from the trance
and move towards the war zone. 


Thirty Seconds to Mars-- This is War.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Day 38. Haunted

Shaky hands.
Unbearably shaky.

That thing my neck does.
When I'm nervous, anxious, or frustrated.

My teeth,
Chipping away at my bottom lip, and the inside of my lips.

My fingers,
Involuntarily playing with my rings.

My feet,
Always moving so all the pressure is on my ankles. Smart.

My mind,
Always thinking about what was...
What will be...
Never what is....

My eyes...
With the ability to be so very good at not showing the true emotion.

My ears,
Always hearing things they shouldn't.
Things they weren't supposed to.

My voice,
With the inability to make coherent sentences when needed.
The ability to lie.
The inability to keep quiet when needed.

The involuntary.. stupid... shaky hands.
The thing my neck does....

I have noticed recently that those stupid little..twitches. have been things that haunt me. nuff said...

 
Breathe -- Superchick


Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Day 37. Deafened.

Meredith Andrews Can Anybody Hear Me?

I don't really know what to really say.
I want to scream out to Him.
THIS SILENCE IS DEAFENING!
WHERE ARE YOU?!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!
I TRUST YOU
WHERE YOU?

CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME?!
THIS SILENCE IS DEAFENING
WHY ARE YOU
SO FAR AWAY?!!!
~  ~  ~
I trust in You.
I know that you can hear me,
when the silence is deafening,
Even though you seem far away...
And I know You're here with me
But I just need the faith to see
Nothing can separate me
FROM YOU.