Day 27. I will stand by you.

God is with you, as am I.

I won't let go- Rascal Flatts

Day 26. A Thousand Years.

Christina Perri -- A thousand years

It's kind of silly to me, this stupid little love song, and all I can think about is the awesome God who created me.

He will love me for a thousand years. And has for OVER a thousand years already.

This is insanity, I thought I was past the stage of denial... Yet it still slips around the corner.

Lord, what you do to me.

Christina Perri-- Distance

"And I will make sure to keep my distance
Say "I love you" and you're not listening
How long can we keep this up, up, up?"

"And I keep waiting
For you to take me
You keep waiting..."

Godspeed <3

Day 25. Hold on to me.

Things may take time to fix. But with Him all things are possible...

All you need to do is just hold on tight.

 HOLD ON TO ME...

HOLD ON TO ME....

DON'T LET ME LOSE


MY WAY

HOLD ON TO ME

Godspeed <3

Busted Heart (Hold onto me) KING AND COUNTRY

Day 24. Letting Go.

It's so wonderful when God speaks through song. Or when He just speaks in general.

I worry too easily to let anything change. I don't let Him guide me. This makes me laugh because I am so willing to tell people to let God guide you, yet I am so unwilling to let that happen. I need to let go of my hypocritical  ways. I need to let God take the reigns just for a bit.

Godspeed <3

House of Heroes-- So Far Away.

Day 23. Shutting Down.

We all do it in one way or another. We all shut people out.  We all shut out what we don't want to hear or see. Most of the time when we do this, we are shutting out what we really need to hear.
(I'm Sorry this blog is going to go in 5 different directions)
When you're friends with someone for a really long time, you know what they feel, when you talk to them or read something of theirs.
When they've just given up, you can feel their heart break. Mine breaks with them.

When you shut down, that's when you need God most. Don't shut Him out. Give Him your hurt. Fall into Him.

Words that have been said so many times. Words I won't stop saying until it sinks in.

I won't stop trying.

One life, I am willing to keep away from Satan's grasp, as he writes on your forehead.

"Attack her."
"Make her hurt."
"Make her fall away."
"Make her doubt, in her infamous GOD."
"Make her hate."
"Make her remember her past for the worse not the better."

"Let me take that from you. Please." He says. His love so willing to take your pain.

Don't loose that light. Ever.

Loose that light, and we loose.

Godspeed <3

JJ Heller No Fight Left. 

Day 20. Kryptonite.

Making time can be difficult. It's something I definatly need to work on. Once I start doing that, I could really get some stuff done. I have really been thinking about the retreats in Ann Arbor. There is one in early November...


Does God want me to go?
Why do I have this urge to go?
Well I know why, but why does it have to be so far away? Because of the distance of the retreat, if I really wanted to go I would have to tell my parents about discerning.  My dad found out about a friend of mine who is discerning, I couldn't comprehend the reaction to his facial expression-- This scares me more.  It makes me nervous, because I don't want to disappoint. Funny thing to be scared of but completely true.

Nerves about this issue is a form of doubt. Doubt is my kryptonite. Lucky I make this realization now before anything happens to my relationship with God. Something so subtle can be so powerful.

Kryptonite.... I'm such a nerd.
Godspeed <3

Day 22. Day2. Accountability

I need to be held accountable during these next 33 days. To makes sure I do this, I don't.. I can't fall behind. I want to do this consecration, it's only day 2 and it seems to be hard. Accountability.

I am reading Harry Potter again. The last time I tried to read them I was in 5th grade. I was a weak reader, and just wasn't into it. I regret not sticking with that. So now I try to catch up and read all of them before the 2nd half of the 7th book comes out on dvd. I don't know how successful I'll be.

I don't want to regret missing my opportunity with this consecration, I feel like I need to do it. It's just hard. But no one said it was going to be easy. I never thought it would be. Like yesterday obstacles are just suprising me left and right.

Short and sweet today.

Godspeed <3

Harry Potter 7.2 OPEN AT THE CLOSE-- Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls 

Day 21. Day 1 of 33. Attacked.

Today was filled with obstacle, after obstacle, waiting for my every move.


A girl, who wants my friendship again after a major fallout.
School.
Babysitting.
So many obstacles in the way of what God wants for me.
It's kind of scary to see a spiritual attack in action. But it was written on my forehead...
"Attack Her."
"Make Her Feel Pain."
"Make Her Doubt."
"Make Her Question The God She Loves So Much."
"Make Her Hurt."
"Make Her Fall Away."
"Make Her Fail."

In response to that I say to Satan. "You will not get that satisfaction. Ever." 

I started today, The Consecration of Jesus through Mary. What a beauty that book is. I got to sit in Adoration for an hour and a half, praying to God. Hoping I'm doing what He wants. Praying for those obstacles, that I wish could be anything but obstacles. Praying for the broken friendship that I wish never broke. I pray that whatever happens from this is Gods will.

Godspeed <3

What love really means-- JJ Heller.

Day 19. I love YOU

I received this from a good friend of mine. She's pretty sweet, awesome, amazing, and other affirmation words...etc. She has been super supportive and has told me to stick with it. Anyways, I came across this in my email inbox today whilst cleaning out nonsense that wasn't needed anymore, and I re-found this. It is beautiful and everyone should read it.. Thanks MJ.
BE SATISFIED WITH ME
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But to a Christian, God says, "No, not until you are satisfied,
Fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me.
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship with me alone.
Discovering that only in me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship,
That I have planned for you.
You will never be united to another
Until you are united with me.
Exclusive of anyone or anything else. Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, to stop wishing, and allow me to give you
The most thrilling plan existing . . . one you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best.
Please allow me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am.
Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you.
Just wait, that’s all.
Don’t be anxious, don’t worry
Don’t look around at things others have gotten
Or that I have given them
Don’t look around at the things you think you want,
Just keep looking off and away up to me,
Or you’ll miss what I want to show you.
And then, when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love
Far more wonderful than you could dream of.
You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready,
I am working even at this moment
To have both of you ready at the same time.
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with me
And the life I’ve prepared for you,
You won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me.
And this is perfect love.
And, dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love.
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me.
And to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union
Of beauty, perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love you utterly.
For I am God. Believe it and be satisfied.

Thanks again. Godspeed <3

I love you--Mitchell Davis

Day 18. This Could Be the Start of Something New.

"  In religious life, Sisters are consecrated to God through vows of chastity, poverty, and obedience.  We live in community and spend much time in prayer, other community activities, and the apostolate.  We are contemplative apostles. We live a monastic life and bring the fruits of our contemplation where ever our Spouse directs us.  The apostolate in which our community is involved is the Christian education of youth through teaching in grade schools and high schools as well as our program Truth in the Heart.  We remain open to the variety of apostolic experiences which the Lord sends our way to catechize and to expose people to the religious life.  Our community embraces the Dominican life and tradition, while responding to the needs of our time, in particular to the New Evangelization that Bl. John Paul the Great inaugurated.   Our common spirituality is firmly rooted in and centered upon Eucharistic adoration, and we live our lives in imitation of the Mother of God, modeling our 'yes' after hers.  Each sister makes the consecration to Jesus through Mary so that everything is given to our Spouse through her.  Simply put, we live a life totally dedicated to Jesus and for love of him we give him our all through our vows, in the hands of Mary, and in accord with our Dominican tradition.  Our Eucharistic Lord is the center of our lives.  We bring him to others through the witness of our consecration, community life, and in the endeavors of our apostolate."

It's weird to consider that this might actually be the life I will live. But also this could be super cool. It says that they consecrate themselves to Jesus through Mary.... I'm starting that next week. Which shouldn't be so surprising but it is. I am more than nervous, but also very very excited, because this could be the start something amazing. I haven't really thought about this until today. Since I got the email from Ann Arbor I hadn't really been thinking of my vocation to the extreme that I used to. It would pop into my mind for a split second then boom "I'll see ya later." Gone. And that's okay. I think I needed that, I needed to have time away from that thought....

Anyone else starting to think my words sound like in a relationship.... just me... oh good.

But back to what I was saying.  Next week I think my life is going to change drastically.

Am I Ready??
No
Am I excited??
YES!
Godspeed <3

Oh Before I leave the fire, This song I found a while ago... I Got You-- Leona Lewis, Totally baller. It's been said that God is found in every song, sung. ( Not it's not been said I made that up.. But I think it's true!) Here is I Got You by Leona Lewis

Day 17. Awake, Music, Marytown, Campfire, Update.

Lend me your eyes I can change what you see
But your soul you must keep, totally free.
~Mumford and Sons.

And where you invest your love.
You invest your life.
~Mumford and Sons.

You Were Made To Meet Your Maker.
~Mumford and Sons

It's quite funny how songs speak to me. To us. They teach us about love, hate, sadness, joy, laughter, all of these simple emotions that we could learn on our own.  I let my emotions show through music. Which can be a good and bad thing.

I realize I need to go back to Marytown. I need to be with God daily, and I've missed out.
Keep me accountable fellow camp fire dwellers. If not, I probably won't continue this amazing journey God is leading me.

Before todays camp fire comes to an end I would like to update you. I emailed Dominican Sisters of Mary in Ann Arbor, Michigan. 1. For info about their Convent, and 2. To maybe be able to chat with one of their sisters. If you don't know they were featured on Oprah. Pretty neat. So yes, I feel the fire dwindling to just embers. Have a fanastic day Camp fire dwellers.
Godspeed <3

Mumford and Sons-- Awake My Soul

Day 16. More like falling in love

This song by Jason Gray is super cool, and EVERYONE should listen to it...
This is an order.

More Like Falling In Love-- Jason Gray

Godspeed <3