Restless

If many of you know me, you know that I would do anything to get out of Illinois.

I would sell my soul if it meant leaving this state.

A little extreme but it shows you how serious I am about leaving.

I have wanted to leave since I first set foot back on these mediocre grounds.

Illinois has been a great place for me to live,  but it's brought me down as well....

There have been opportunities that I wouldn't have ever gotten to experience if I didn't live here.

And I thank God for those chances.

But if I look back at those chances God gave me, they don't over power the darkness the last 4 years have been.


I am called for so much more than this small little poop town. This silly little state.

I am getting restless with the fact that I have no idea what it is.

I am getting restless with the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing.


Praying for peace...

Godspeed <3

Support

There is something that I need to get off my chest.

There is a word

Support
This special word seems to be lacking in my life.
There are changes happening and things that I am changing about myself and my journey....

But there are just three simple words I want to hear.

I support you.

or

I am here for you.

It's extra hard when those words don't come out of the mouths that you love most.
The people that you cherish their opinion.

The changes in my journey cannot be explained at the moment.

But,
In time.

In time....

Thank you for reading.

Godspeed <3

I hate shopping.

There is nothing I hate more than shopping for stupid clothes.

In the past week I have driven past the mall about 8 times...

Why you may ask?

Well I have a banquet on Sunday and I am supposed to be dressed proper...

The whole process of trying on clothes.
Going into the dressing room.
Fitting into the clothes.
Looking in the mirror at myself.

I get completely disgusted at what I see.

It's been like that since 6th grade.
So  nearly forever.

I have cut myself down in front of a mirror

And it's kind of hard to take all of the words back.

So, Looking in the mirror now,
It's kind of a laugh.

I've never been good at shopping...