Day 55. I Am At Peace...

There's a moment
When you can feel a part of your world
Tumble in...
Implode on itself
Disintegrating into nothing...

That moment
When your body goes into survival mode
And begins to search for something it knows.\

The moment
When you begin to look back
And wonder what you did wrong.

There's a moment that happens
Where you have to learn to strive
On faith alone

A moment
Where you have to let go
Of all your senses
And just trust that everythings going to be okay...

That somehow
You're going to land
On your feet.

There's a moment
Where God tests us
Where He lets the rug slip
From under our feet just to see...

What will we do?

Will we use our hands to save ourselves?
Let ourselves fall without any protection?
Or reach for the unknown void infront of us...
Hoping maybe someone will be there to save us before we hit the ground

At the moment...
I am grabbing into the empty void infront of me...
Waiting for that hand to possibly come out
And save me before I fall.


I can hear the wind of the hand slowly coming to my rescue.
Don't worry...
In time.
So I don't worry.
I am at peace.

Godspeed <3

Kutless-- Carry Me to the Cross 

Day 54. Here at Your Feet.

My prayer is in this song. In many songs. But today this song is me. My prayer.

Here At Your Feet.-- Casting Crowns

Here at Your feet I lay my past down
My wanderings, all my mistakes downAnd I am free

Here at Your feet I lay this day downNot in my strength but in Yours I've found
All I need, You're all I need
Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet
Oh, to dwell and never leave
Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet
There is nowhere else for me
There is nowhere else for me

Here at Your feet I lay my future down
All of my dreams I give to You nowAnd I find peace, I find peace

Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet
Oh, to dwell and never leave
Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet
There is nowhere else for me
There is nowhere else for me

Here at Your feet I lay my life down
For You my King, You're all I want now
And my soul sings

Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet
Oh, to dwell and never leave
Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet
There is nowhere else for me
There is nowhere else for me

'Cause I am free here at Your feet
All I need is at Your feet
And I find peace, we're at Your feet
We're at Your feet

I am free here at Your feet
All I need is at Your feet
I find peace, we're at Your feet
We're at Your feet, we're at Your feet
We're at Your feet

Here at Your feet I lay my life down
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/c/casting-crowns-lyrics/at-your-feet-lyrics.html ]

I cannot seem to put thoughts into words. I have so much I want to say. So much I want to feel, without revealing too much. I think the  best way to reveal feeling is through song. Again I've said that many times before. I think one day I'm just going to combine lyrics to create my life. Goal? I think yes.

Here at your feet, I lay my past, future, life down....


Godspeed <3

Day 53. Fear Factor

I've been writing a lot in the past few days.
About nothing, about everything.
About my fears mostly.

If I could list off what I am scared of I feel as though my list would go on forever.
But there are 4 things that I am truly afraid of. (no particular order)

1. My summer job.
2. Losing those I love most.
3. Never getting married. (cheesy...)
4. Not being successful, or not doing something I love with my life.

Fears are common, natural even.

There are times where I wish I could live life without fear.
Where I could just go DO something without being afraid of making a fool of myself.
Where I could be FREE.

Then there are times where I am happy I am self concious, fearful.
It makes me me.

I don't think that fear, or the sensation of being afraid of things will ever leave.

There is one thing I don't want to be afraid of.--- my future.

What God has in store for my future.
And I know I shouldn't be afraid of God's plan.. I should be excited.
I have been hearing Jeremiah 29:11-13 a lot lately.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. "

So that's what I am trying to do,
It will take time.
As most things do.
God has plans for me.
And my life.

Godspeed <3

Meredith Andrews- In Your Arms 

Day 52. I Will Let You Go.

There is something I've realized...
My mind, my heart, my soul
They have so many bigger and better opportunities
Joys
Smiles.
Than they ever did before.
I've been told so many times that I cannot dwell on the past.
Especially with certain people.
With myself.
Though the past is valuable to who I am today.
I cannot live in what was.
What will never be.
What "has", "did", and "was"...
It will take time,
It has taken time...
But I cannot dwell in the past.
That's not why I'm here.
I am here to be so much more than what I was.
I am a leader now.
I'm changing lives.
One step at a time.
I am here to be a strong, powerful woman.
To fight to save the youths faith.
To live her dreams...
subtly, and loudly...
So past,
I will let you go...
No hard feelings?
I will let you go.....

Godspeed <3

I Will Let You Go

Daniel Ahearn

Day 51. I will still be me.

"It should never be seen as a crutch."

It is a holy place.
But your heart should not reside there.
Your faith shouldn't be determined by this simple place.

I have realized that I have struggled a lot with that for the last few weeks.

Questioning what I would do if I don't get to go back to those holy grounds.
What will my faith be like?
What will I turn into?

Silly little me.
My faith cannot be determined on a place.
Though this place is holy.
Though this place is where my faith began.
It will not end there.
I have written about how the decision is out of my hands.
I have written about Gods will.
I have written about struggles.
About the past.
About the future.
But I cannot dwell on those things.
The present.
That is what I need to dwell in.
That is what I need to keep my mind in.

My faith will not change if I don't go back to the lovely, friendly environment.
I will not change if I do not get to walk on the dirt trails.
I will still be Michelle.
I will still be deeply in love with God.
I will still be willing to do anything for the youth.
I will still be me.

I need to remember this as my journey continues.

I will still be me.
No matter what happens....


I will still be me.

Godspeed<3

Lincoln Brewster-- Surrender

Keep Calm, Carry On

Her hands shake
Thinking about this was torture.
All of her dreams flash before her eyes.
Her goals...

In time, my daughter, in time...
He repeats this many times over.

Her mind races again
In time WHAT?
Will all be revealed "In time"?

His words were never clear to her
yet each time He spoke
She listened and followed intently.

Though, she had a choice
He had showed her before
The choices, the voices she could listen to...

There was a difference between each voice
It's more than noticable
One seemed to have a harshness
A harshness she has never felt before.

It made you listen
She began to listen
Because though harsh, the voice gave answers
It gave her a sense of hope.

But the voice was wrong.
Each hope she had the voice took
Swiftly and with ease.
The voice was boiserous with power.

     ---    ---    ---
She was losing all hope
The voice fed off her soul
It fed off the joy and the sadness.
The hope and the pain.

But the voice didn't hear the other.
Only she heard the other voice.

It was calm,
Confident
Telling her of love.
Strong, subtle love.

She began to inch away from the powerful voice.
Towards the the gentle words of love
To her singed ears.

She cried tears of guilt
The voice she had left,
The voice which at first made her
Angry beyond the control..
The voice she loved  to dislike...
Now came to her with words of love

Though her fears were still intacked
The voice never left her side
Keep Calm, Carry On.
It would whisper.
Keep Calm, Carry On.


Godspeed<3  I do not own the phrase "Keep Calm Carry On"

Keep Calm And Carry On-- Julianne Costa

Day 49.2. I Would Have Stayed Up With You All Night Had I Known....

The Fray-- How to Save A Life

This song I feel, is about persistence with someone you care about.

Their stubbornness in either letting you in, or admitting what they did was incorrect. 

Letting them know that you love them without end,

And letting them hate you.

Where did I go wrong,

I lost a friend,

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life...

Friendships like that.

Where they don't want to hear you.

They don't want to see you...

Those are the friendships where you need to make yourself known.

Even if they don't want to listen to your words,

The only thing you can do is be there.

Till the end.

No matter how many times you wonder why you try.

Friendships like those.

You need to be there.

They need to know that you're there.

And just pray that one day in this chaos,

They hear you,

They hear your words...

They see your love.

Until that day. Let them know you love them.

Unconditionally.

No matter what happens.

Godspeed <3

Day 49. The Power of Song.

I have said this before,
And I will say it many times over.

I speak best through song.
The songs of others
The songs I hear...
Some hit me just at the right time,
Some I hear for others.
Some I hear and share.
Some I take and hide away.

But song,
I don't think I would be me if there was no music.
I don't think I would have the faith I have without the music I listen to.
Because the lyrics speak to my heart.
That is one of the ways God speaks to me.
Song.
It's been said by a priest that worked at the parish I go to--
"Song is prayer x2."
Godspeed<3

Meredith Andrews- You're Not Alone

Day 48. Something Heavenly

Sanctus Real- Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly)

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly
Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your willor just climbing aimlessly over these hillsSo show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly
Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly
It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out

..........

Today, I began the 30 day challenge.
The radio station- kLove decided to do a little new years challenge for its listeners.
Listen to ONLY Christian music for 30 days.
See what it does...
See what it doesn't do...
Will anything change?
That is what they want to know after the 30 days.

Sanctus Real- Baller band out of many.
This song really just hits home like most of the songs I post.
It hits home because though there is so much chaos in our hearts and our minds
God is just getting us ready for the BIG picture.
Look out for the big pictures in your life.

Godspeed <3

Day 47. Out of my Hands

Recently I have had this feeling.
Where I just want to know EVERYTHING, right now.
Where I just want everything to be perfect.
And okay.

I have had this feeling of just pure nausea, whenever I think about home
Or Home away from "Home"
I didn't think someone could miss a place so much as I do right now.
But God has a way of working. God has a way of letting me know things are going to be okay.

I was told a few days ago
"You've done all you can. You've reached the worst part of the process. Waiting."
And I have.
The process of waiting.
Trusting that whatever happens is not my will but GODs.
And will forever be GODs will.
I may hate what He wants me to do... At the time.
But I know that once I do what He wants I will be in bliss.
That's how he works.

So, I wait.
It's out of my hands.
It's into His will and out of my hands.
Godspeed <3

Out of My Hands-- Matthew West

Day 46. SET ME FREE.

DRAMATIZATION Casting Crowns- Set Me Free

I recently found this video, and couldn't help but think

This is what I wrote about.

This is what I felt.

It hasn't always been this way
I remember brighter days
Before the dark ones came
Stole my mind
Wrapped my soul in chains

Now I live among the dead
Fighting voices in my head
Hoping someone hears me crying in the night
And carries me away

SET ME FREEof the chains holding me
Is anybody out there hearing me?
SET ME FREE

Morning breaks another day
Finds me crying in the rain
All alone with my demons I am
Who is this man that comes my way?
The dark ones shriek
They scream His name
Is this the One they say will set the captives free?
JESUS, RESCUE ME

As the God man passes by
He looks straight through my lies
And darkness cannot hide

Do you want to be free?
Lift your chains
I hold the key
All power on Heav'n and Earth belong to me
YOU ARE FREE

YOU ARE FREE

YOU ARE FREE

I am free...

Godspeed <3