Whole-Broken

You cannot fix those who don't want to be fixed.
You cannot change those who don't feel the need to changed.
You cannot talk to those who aren't willing to listen.
You cannot get rid of the toxic behaviors if those involved with the toxic behavior aren't willing to get rid of it also.

I hate to say it but my home is one that I  cannot change on my own.

I've been told I need to change myself too many times.
I am trying to change myself.
I've let go of my anger.
I react to the toxins in a calm manner.

Yet it is still deadly to live in my home.

Why?

Because those involved in the toxic behavior aren't willing to change/ get rid of it either.

Which sucks.

Now I know that I shouldn't be complaining because my house is not a broken home. I have a whole family- Mother, Father, Siblings, and a dog. I am so thankful that my home is whole.

But inside each person is a piece of brokenness. A little part of them that they cannot fix or do not want to fix. Leading my home to be broken in a sense.

Now, I am not writing this because I hate my family and I want to out them for being hateful and terrible people. I love my family and would do anything for them. I do know that I am not alone in the sense that I have a whole-broken home.

Each family probably has their own toxic behaviors. 

And I also know that there are a lot of whole-broken homes like mine that act like there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. That they are that happy-go-lucky family that everyone loves to be around. Yet when you are alone with just your family, it is hell on earth.

Let me repeat, I love my family. I love each and every one of them to bits and pieces. I would do anything for them if they asked.

My family has a lot we need to work on. We are no where near clean from this toxic atmosphere.

If your family is like mine, you are not alone. I know how tough it can be.


Godspeed <3

Not Alone - Linkin Park