you,

I have told you I hate you. Many times actually. I've probably told you that I wish you would just leave me alone. To get out of my life forever. That I can't stand you. That I wish you didn't exist. That I wish you were gone.

We both know that those sayings aren't the case though...

I do know that you've been a constant in my life for a long time. I know that you'd do anything to make me think of you and only you. I know that you'd make me forget the real world and help me zone into yours; where everything was okay for a little while. But we both knew reality would catch up with me.

I remember all of your words like they were written on paper. Every lie you ever told me. Every false promise of a hopeful tomorrow. Every fake taste of happiness and love.

It makes me laugh how much I thought I needed you. That maybe something might change with you. That you will turn into something good. I am laughing now.

I know you know what you are. And for once I finally know what you are.

I know that you are death. I know that you are evil. I know that you are a sad excuse for a being. I know you are selfish. I know that you are lies. I know that you are hatred. I know that you are a deep dark pit of despair. I know that you are empty.

It makes me feel bad how empty you are. I feel incredibly sad for you. Because you will never know love. Because you will never know what it feels like to be happy without selfish reason.  I feel bad for you because you will never have anyone who loves you or will share love with you. I am sorry for you.

I do want you to know that I forgive you for all the trouble you have caused. I will never forget what you did to me and those around me.

I hope that one day you will be free from your hole of sadness.

Please leave now.


~Me.