Her Melt Downs

She had melt downs. Many many melt downs. Where she would feel out of control. Where she would let the anger take control. Where she would forget who she was and be a monster. She would be the demon deep inside of her. The demon she hated with every fiber of her being.

Her melt downs or freak outs would consist of her yelling, throwing, swearing, slamming, scaring, glaring. Her eyes would turn crazy. Open wide, with a look of sheer hatred. Eyes that would scare the strongest of men. Eyes that were not her own, but those of the demon deep insider her. The demon she hated with every fiber of her being.

Her freak outs would only last a short amount of time. Some lasted five minutes. Some lasted 25 minutes. Some lasted 10 minutes. They ranged. It all depended on how long she had held in her anger. The anger that was not her own. The anger of the demon deep inside her. The demon she hated with every fiber of her being.

Once her melt downs were finished. Once everyone was now afraid of her. She would hide. Locked behind the door of her bathroom. Behind that locked door she hid, staring at the demon deep inside her. The demon she hated with every fiber of her being.

After her melt downs, locked in the bathroom, hiding, and staring, she would tell herself lies. How much she was hated. How much she was unloved. How she didn't deserve love from everyone. How she was an abomination. How she was a monster. How she was better off alone. How it was safer for everyone if she was alone. How she will never be free. How she will never be better. How she will live with this forever. These lies were not her own. They were from the demon deep inside her. The demon she hated with every fiber of her being.

There would be times after her melt downs, locked in the bathroom, deep in the mix of lies, where she would find a release by writing hatred and lies on her skin. The hatred and lies were always written in a sequence of twos or threes. The ink flowed a deep red, leaving her feeling empty, released from the hatred, the anger, the lies. Those of which were not her own, but those of the demon deep inside her. The demon she hated with every fiber of her being.

Once it was all over- the melt downs, being locked in the bathroom, filling herself with lies, writing hatred and lies on her skin, she would be better. Not happy, but better. She wouldn't feel so much hatred. She couldn't hear the lies that swirled quickly around her head, locking away deep inside for a rainy day. She would build. Build with intangible bricks. Stacking them one foot away from her. building the unseen wall three bricks thick. Building up higher than her arms could reach. Her intangible brick square tower was built. Blocking all emotion or feeling, both in and out. Keeping her safe from all the angers of the world. Keeping the demon deep inside of her safe. The demon she hated with every fiber of her being... safe...