Trust in Me, Trust in Him.

"My child, why do you push away the precious gift I have given to you?" My Savior's voice was filled with confusion and slight disappointment. "Why are you afraid of something you've wanted for so long?"

My mind spun in circles trying to comprehend exactly why I was pushing away this gift I've begged for, prayed for, pleaded for...

My voice was no louder than a whisper, " I don't know, Father... I just... I'm scared, confused, this isn't what I'm used to... I have so many "What if" questions running through my head. Lord, I am so scared."

His laugh bellowed through the field. It was not a laugh that made me feel humiliated or scared of a response. It was a laugh of understanding.

"My Child, I gave you this precious gift because you both were ready. Yes, My child, you both were ready to meet and to take the steps in the direction I want you to be in. I do not put these milestones in your life because I think it will be amusing. I do it because I know you are ready for them.That they will lead you to where I want you to be. I will never give you anything you will not be able to handle. You are stronger than you think."

I thought for a minute, letting His words sink in. "How can I not push him away? How can I stop being so afraid? How can I get past that? How can I move away from my insecurities?"

His bright smile stayed. "I want you to Trust in Me and in him. Trust in what he shows you, My child. Trust that I have given you the precious gift of love because you are strong enough, wise enough to understand it. Trust that his actions will show you his love. Trust in Me and trust in him, my child. Trust that this is a part of my plan for you."

"I made you in my image. You are a beautiful daughter of mine. In my eyes your insecurities meaningless. In my eyes you are just how I made you to be. In my eyes you are perfect."

I let His words sink deep into my soul and nodded, understanding what He was saying.

"Now go, spread my love, show it to everyone you meet. Share my love with the gift I gave you. Share my love with those who think they least deserve it."

With that I left the field where my Savior stood, going back into reality.

At the outskirts of the field stood the man with hazel blue eyes. Waiting patiently, legs shoulder width apart, arms crossed, guard-like, strong. He turned just as I exited the field, shining a smile in my direction. He reached out his hand towards mine. As I grasped his hand he pulled me into an embrace, holding me tightly for a quick second. Then taking my hand as we walked away.

As I walked quietly next to him with a modest smile I let my Savior's words engrave themselves into my mind.